With all the divorce going around and all the failed relationships, it makes one wonder whether there is a way to make a marriage work. Here are some of the secrets to what makes a marriage strong and healthy despite all the many challenges in today’s world.
1. Being right is not always right. One of the secrets to a healthy marriage is to control the desire to always be right. There is nothing to be gained by always wanting to be right in every single argument or discussion. On the contrary, the desire to be right can only mean more fights and more arguments. When each person is fighting to be right, both lose.
2. Divorce is never an option. The problem with most couples today is that they always tend to believe that when things go wrong, they can always give up on the relationship and get a divorce. Hardly anyone wants to make that extra effort to make the marriage work. One of the most important secrets to a healthy marriage is COMMITMENT. Having such a mindset allows people to find solutions even when it appears that the marriage has reached boiling point. Such would not be possible if the people in the marriage have an exit strategy to fall back on.
3. There is no such thing as a “perfect marriage”. One of the common misconceptions is that a person should simply find his or her soul mate and the marriage will go on happily ever after. However, among the secrets to a healthy marriage is to accept the fact that a “perfect marriage” does not exist. Whenever two people decide to share their lives together, they are bound to find some wonderful moments and some really irritating ones top. Striving for a great marriage means having a lot of understanding and a huge amount of patience.
4. Marriage means giving. Most people believe that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. The truth is, it is more like 60/40. Among the secrets to a healthy marriage is to give 60% and to take 40% for both parties. Successful marriages are those where the parties put their spouses first. There is no room for “looking out for myself first” if you want the marriage to last. If you are more concerned about yourself than your spouse then you are headed for trouble.
5. Respect. There is no way that love can exist if there is no respect. In a marriage, respect must never be overlooked.
6. Do not stop dating. Many times we hear people say that it is not the quantity of time that really matters, but the quality of time. One of the many secrets of a healthy marriage is that the quantity of quality time that truly matters. Dating need not mean spending a lot of money. Picnics in a park or simply sharing take-out while watching a sunset requires very little expense but wonderful moments together.