There will be problems in your relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been married a long time or just got together. The key is to not let them mushroom into something serious that could end your marriage. If you think back, you can remember your parents arguing and disagreeing about things. Despite having differences many married couples manage to stay together.
Before you were married everything may have seemed perfect. Not even a discouraging word was heard between the two of you. But now that you are married, you have begun to notice some blemishes in your partner’s personality. There are things that your partner does which is annoying and downright irritating to you at times. But unless your partner has drastically changed, there’s no reason to be concern. It’s just that now you are up close, living in an intimate relationship where you are in contact with each other on a daily basis. So, like the old, partners in new marriages can expect to disagree and even argue at times.
Apply these 5 tips to safeguard against your arguing escalating into something serious.
First: Talk about it.
Express your thoughts and feelings, even intensely if necessary. But, avoid personal attacks that hurt your partner. Don’t say things that belittles and berates them. Communicating about things is good and can save your marriage. But it must be done in the right way.
Second: Don’t let annoyances build up.
If something is allowed to fester until is oozes out, it makes a mess. It’s best to take care of things at the beginning. Problems are easier to solve when they haven’t grown and anger has set in to where feelings are now the issue and both sides are locked into their position.
Third: Stick to what the issue/problem is that’s bothering you.
Don’t be all over the place, going from one issue to another. Try to discuss things when you are both calm. If you are arguing about everything you will only exasperate each other. Try to pick the core issue that is affecting the two of you. If both sides know the problem, it is more likely a solution can be reached.
Fourth: Do what you can to resolve the matter amicably.
It will take some effort for both of you to agree to a solution. Often just sleeping on a problem is enough to bring about a new attitude and shred light on a matter. You may find the problem is no longer an issue between the two of you.
This is a very important thing to do. But things may have been said or done that linger in your mind. Understand that when you or your partner have been hurt deeply, it takes time to completely forgive. Keep in mind, neither of you are perfect. When you love someone you overlook their faults and shortcomings. You accept what you cannot change about them. And I’m not talking about a partner who betrayed your trust by cheating on you. That level of hurt you may not be able to forgive. But, if you hold on to the hurt, it will weaken your relationship. It may end the marriage.
Disagreements and arguments are a part of married life. It’s how you handle them that will determine if you will overcome them. Make a commitment to stay together. This means taking the bad with the good. Problems will come. But the two of you are a formidable team against whatever comes your way when you stick together. During difficult times, don’t forget just how much you mean to each other.