After a year or two of living together, for many people their feelings toward marriage change. The instant gratification fades as the reality of what marriage represent comes into view. It isn’t the Cinderella story where Prince Charming comes to rescue you. Nor is it the self-serving biblical interpretation that many men cling to, that wives are to cook, clean, takes on all the responsibility of running the house, caring for the children, satisfy their physical needs and hold down a job. There are wives who expect their husband to help out in the care of the children and share with the responsibility for the household.
Historically, marriage bought two people together to exchange vows before God, family, and friends. It was entered into with some trepidation and an awareness of the sacred and contractual obligation you were agreeing to as a couple. And most importantly, it was seen as a lasting commitment to each other. Today many still follow the traditions of the past, at least ceremonially. They stand before the minister, gazing into each other eyes, uttering their vows with heartfelt sentiment. But there’s a sense that what’s being said at that moment, doesn’t have the lasting meaning it used to. After the marriage ceremony all that will be left are memories on a dvd, video, and photo album pictures of that special day.
For many, the contract entered into before God, family and friends on the day they were married will fade in time. It will no longer have any significant meaning to them. The marriage that many enter into today is centered around their individual wants and needs. It has a more “Me” then “Us” mindset. For some, marriage is a tax shelter. It’s financial security. It’s freedom from their parents.
The sacredness that marriage once held has been tarnished by the “me attitude” which is permeated throughout society.
The value of the marriage contract sealed with vows inside a church before God is not regarded with the same significant it once held in our culture. Co-habitation has become the norm. Living together has taken the place of marriage, within the culture. Trying to find someone today that wants to get married is very difficult.
For many it seems easier to nullify the marriage contract, and embrace the popular concept of just living together. It like a fake marriage, where you get many of the benefits, but avoid lawyers and other problems you face when dissolving a legal marriage.
Now going forward to another relationship, in the minds of some, there’s uncertainty and lingering doubts. Some question if they can ever commit to marrying someone. They join that mindset that thinks relationships don’t last, and neither does marriage. So they are content to cohabitate, to seek all the benefits of marriage without being married.
They like the idea of acting married. But actually being married, which involves a contract of their commitment to someone is what they cannot commit to.
There are millions of couples who have a lasting marriage. For them marriage is more than a paper contract. It represents their vows before God, and the heartfelt expression of love for their husband or wife. Most importantly it is the commitment they gave to each other on that special day.