Fighting between spouses can be a healthy thing as it allows both parties to air out any differences and de-stress. The fight will give you or your spouse the opportunity to find out how you feel about an issue and what your opinions are. This can be very helpful so that the other person will learn what to do or not to do. Many studies have revealed that the couples who express their wants, needs, grievances and opinions in an argument, disagreement or fight tend to stay together longer than the couples who simply do
Fighting is a way for the couple to communicate and communicating is crucial if a marriage is to last. However, fighting is not something that should happen 24x7x365. After a fight, you and your spouse must be willing to come to a compromise or agreement even if it is agreeing to disagree about an issue. You need to be able to make up. Here are some ways on how you may be able to make up with your spouse after a fight.
- Never run away. Running away from a fight will never solve anything. Most times, it will make things worse and simply complicate matters. If you need to cool down, by all means go outside for a few minutes or an hour or two and then come back and be ready to speak with your spouse. There are times when a person needs to clear his or her head and some minutes alone may do the trick and give a fresh perspective regarding the issue at hand.
- Discuss the real issue behind the fight. When couples fight, in the heat of the moment, there may be words exchanged that both may not mean. Taking the time to speak to each other and hearing out the story from both perspectives may help you both uncover the real reason for the fight. You can take the time to find ways how to avoid coming to a head regarding the same issue again.
- Show your affection. Sometimes fights are just symptoms that one or both of you feel the need for affection. Being married means that you both have many responsibilities and the mundane everyday tasks that you both need to do leave you both with very little time to show your love for each other. Take the time to show your spouse that you love him or her. After a fight, hold his or her hand. Do the things that you would normally do if the fight never happened. Make him or her cup of hot cocoa or just be close. This helps to smooth things out so you can make up.
- Take the responsibility. As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango so assigning blame for a fight may mean assigning blame to both of you. Saying sorry is not going to cost you money. Apologize for any nasty words that had been said to each other and make sure that the incident is forgotten and move on. Also, it is important to forgive each other and never bring up the incident again.
- Agree on how to make up beforehand. It is possible that you and your spouse will have a really serious and nasty fight. It will be best if you can agree on how both of you can handle such a situation before it arises. You both can agree that you will take time to hear each other out without interrupting and respect the agreement no matter how much anger you or your spouse may be feeling. Truly listen to each other and if there is something that is not understood, say so in a polite way so that things can be explained in some other way.
Learning to make up after a fight with your spouse is very important is you both value your marriage and really want to make it last.