“I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility, and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do, without the help and support of the woman I love.”
With those famous words, King Edward VIII of England announced his Abdication to his subjects on December 11, 1936 and subsequently relinquished his throne.
To say that his sweetheart, then Wallis Simpson – twice divorced, was an extremely controversial figure is to state the obvious. She was also hardly what you would call a beauty. In her own words: “I’m nothing to look at . . .”
How then was she able to completely enraptured King Edward and create one of the most romantic episodes of all time?
HRH Edward may not have been a hard-nosed, coldly calculating individual, but he sure wasn’t new to the ways of the world. He’d already been involved with several women. He wasn’t some hot-headed youngster that was consumed with unreasonable, uncontrolled passion. So what was the Duchess’s secret?
Let’s play Sherlock Holmes with some of the well documented facts of the story. By the time we are through, ladies should have learnt some important lessons about getting and keeping the man of their dreams. Men also should have gleaned a thing or two on the keys that set them permanently on fire for their women.
The article is presented with the dated documented facts placed in quote and author’s comments following each quoted fact.
Let’s now take an enlightening kaleidoscopic tour through the astounding life of this magical Cinderella called the Duchess of Windsor:
(1901, Baltimore, Maryland)
“Wallis, Duchess of Windsor was a bright and determined student at school. She made up her mind to go to the head of the class and she made it! She was always immaculately dressed and pushed herself hard to do well.”
Ladies, there’s nothing complementary or attractive about being called a “dumb blond”. Being beautiful should not exclude intelligence and self-determination. No man, no matter what he says wants a woman who is psychologically, emotionally and materially dependent on him.
The Duchess proved that man’s place an engaging personality, determination and brains above beauty. An attractive look is a plus, but it should never be the main asset that a woman has. Apart from being of little worth, the other downside of physical beauty is that it soon fades! It doesn’t matter how much is spent to patch it up; you’d be fighting a losing battle.
The lesson here is that you ought to take good care of yourself, look good and try to be always “immaculately dressed”, but place more emphasis on “pushing yourself hard to do well” in all other things you do as well.
“Wallis toured China, and stayed with Katherine and Herman Rogers, who were to remain long-term friends.”
Choose your friends wisely. After making the choice, stick to them faithfully and ensure that the bonding actually takes place. An African proverb says “it is better to have one absolutely committed friend than a million admirers”.
Katherine and Herman Rogers stood strong behind the Duchess all through her very turbulent adult life. They were unconditionally committed to her and gave her absolute support.
Any man who sees the level of faithfulness and commitment between a woman and her friends receives a signal that she is a trustworthy person who is capable of forming an enduring and fulfilling relationship.
“While in China, an Italian diplomat tell her conversation was brilliant and she had the habit of bringing up the right subject of conversation with anyone she came in contact with and entertaining them on that subject.”
Cultivate the habit of being interested in people generally. Be relaxed and develop an engaging personality. It may not come to you naturally, but practice it. If you are a natural introvert, push yourself hard to be pleasing to people.
I appreciate the fact that it may be difficult. I’m an introvert myself, but I’ve seen the tremendous benefit of having an engaging personality. I have practiced it and even though I’m still an introvert, I have developed the ability to “switch gear” when necessary.
Give it a shot, ladies. It’s well worth the effort in the long-term. You don’t have to be a loud, over friendly person, but no man wants to be around a moody and unduly quiet mate.
“Edward was irretrievably besotted with Wallis, finding her domineering manner and abrasive irreverence toward his position appealing; in the words of his official biographer, he became ‘slavishly dependent’ on her.”
Ladies, you just have to be bold. Don’t give your man the feeling that he’s “untouchable” and can’t be corrected. While nagging is an absolute “no”, helpful nudging in the right direction is a definite welcome “intrusion” by every man. It doesn’t matter how influential or highly placed he is; you owe it to him and yourself to boldly say what you feel.
This doesn’t mean being nasty or rude although it could be presented in a playfully offhanded manner. It should however be a frank expression of the true feelings of your heart. Every man appreciates that. Everybody, including the toughest of macho men needs a second opinion about their potential decisions. Who else would be the best option if not a mate who is boldly alive to her responsibilities?
“The duchess was perceived by many in the British Empire as a woman of limitless ambition.”
Yes, members of the British royalty naturally weren’t very comfortable with the Duchess. The king’s decision to abdicate was a stunning and stupefying action which made the object of his affection something of a terror and an eternally embarrassing nightmare!
However, a focused, purposeful and ambitious woman is a great relief to any man any day! If a man has a defined life direction, a woman walking in the same direction creates a wonderful synergy that irreversibly fuses them together. A woman should therefore be clear about what she wants in life. When she meets the man of her dreams (literally), she will not only know, but they would fit like hand-in-glove.
“Lord Brownlow read to the press her statement, which he had helped her draft, indicating Wallis’s readiness to give up the King. However, Edward was determined to marry Wallis.”
Ladies, show your interest in your man. Be bold and unambiguous about it. It makes things a lot less complicated. However, don’t hold on to him desperately as if your world will come crashing down if it doesn’t work out between you two!
Be willing to let go, knowing that if he’s truly yours, he’ll come back to you. There’s a most remarkable quote from a list of the Duchess’s numerous quotes that is worth mentioning here. Concerning the abdication, she was quoted to have said:
‘I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the wrong light to the entire world because they will say that I could have prevented it.’
This is so classically brilliant that it serves as a punch line in our study of the Duchess’s character.
The woman was willing to let the king go, but she had poured enough of herself into him to know for a certainty t
hat he was going nowhere!
That indeed is a mark of true greatness. It’s no wonder she shook the earth in her time!
Please, ladies, if there’s only one thing you pick out of all that has been said, let it be this section. Read it over and over again until its real import hits you like a ton of bricks. It will be a most liberating epiphany!
(1) Hingham, Charles (2005). Mrs Simpson. Pan Books ISBN 0-330-42678-8.
(3) Tinniswood, Adrian (1992). Belton House. The National Trust ISBN 0707801133
(4) Ziegler, Philip (2004), “Windsor, (Bessie) Wallis, duchess of Windsor
(1896–1986)”, Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (Oxford University Press)