The Reasons Why He Cheats On You

Posted Sunday, February 2nd, 2014 | Tagged in : After An Affair, Overcoming Obstacles, Save Your Relationship | Get Your Ex Back, Tips By Admin
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There is nothing worse in a relationship than being cheated by your partner.  All of the confidence and trust that you built into the relationship is ruined when this happens. It creates a climate of distrust and suspicion. And it results in deeply hurt feelings. He may never be able to fully regain your trust again, even if he acknowledge he was wrong and asks you to forgive him.
But, why do men cheat in the first place? There are numerous reason why. In general the most common reasons why men cheat are listed below.

1. To get his revenge

If you have cheated on him, he may be the kind of man who wants to get back at you, by cheating himself. Even if the mistake took place in the past,  and you thought it was long forgiven, he may justify his cheating on you, since you did it first.

2.  For the thrill of it

For some there’s a  thrill and excitement that comes from cheating. The risk of not getting caught cheating can provide more of a thrill, than being faithful in their relationship.  For some men, cheating is a fun activity, a game that they create for themselves, whether then stay true to  their actual relationship.

3.  He hasn’t been caught cheating

Some men will continue to cheat if they haven’t been caught by their partner. They feel that they haven’t done anything wrong, since she doesn’t know about it.  They think, what she doesn’t know, doesn’t hurt her. For this reason, most men will continue to cheat until they are caught by their partner.

4. To boost his self-confidence

One of the best ways a man feel confident about himself, is to have members of the opposite sex be attracted to him. A man feels better about himself when women are drawn to him and fall in love with him. To him, it is worth cheating for this reason alone–it is a boost to his ego.

5.  He no longer loves you

The commitment he made to you, is now ignored, since he no longer loves you. It is now his excuse to cheat. If you still have feeling for him, you need to remind him of that love. Rekindle the memories you had together when you enjoyed being around each other. If that fails to set things right again, you will have to decide if your relationship can be saved.  Cheating is not always seen as the end of a relationship, if it is something you can accept from your partner. But it does reflect an immaturity when a person is willing to risk everything by cheating. To take the chance of ruining a relationship, shows a disregard for the feelings of your partner. But if you can gain insight and understand the reasons behind his cheating, you will be able to discuss your feelings about it and let him know the consequence for this action. Do not be afraid to discuss serious things with your partner. He may come to realize that the consequences for cheating is a risk that he doesn’t want to take, when he will lose what means the most to him–you.

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Things You Can Do To Get Over An Affair

Posted Saturday, August 25th, 2012 | Tagged in : After An Affair By Admin
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It can be devastating to discover the one you love has had an affair. The anger and hurt can overwhelm you, leaving you feeling utterly betrayed by the person who you trusted and gave your heart to.

After you experience being cheated on, you have to reclaim yourself from an affair. If you are going to continue your relationship, you must free your mind from the memories of it. If you decide to stay in the relationship you must determine the path forward of how to proceed toward making things whole again after an affair. Even if you decide to end the relationship, you must get over it.

Seeking a professional to help you work through problems and restore your relationship is recommended. But you need to accept responsibility in making important decisions about your life. It’s your marriage, and you need to take charge of it.

The effect that an affair has on a relationship is personal. There’s no formula that can be package into a solution that is guaranteed to keep the two of you together. It comes down to your love for each other and a commitment to save your marriage.

There are some time-tested things you can do to get over an affair that can work to save your marriage.

1.You must forgive.

No marriage can survive an affair unless there’s a willingness to forgive. If anger and bitterness take root and fester in an unforgiving heart, the marriage is destined to fail.

2. Seek help.

If you are open to outside help, you can get a qualified marriage counsellor who’s trained to work with couples in resolving their marital problems. There is also on-line resources you can download that offers help in the form of videos, audio, and e-books. This method is preferred by many for its affordability and privacy. Also, Spiritual guidance can be a source of help and comfort. Having someone to talk to and pray for you, can get you through a rough time. And there’s no substitute for loving friends and family, when you need support.

3. Be gentle to yourself.

Don’t blame yourself for your wife’s or husband’s infidelity. Each of us have to be accountable for the choices that we make in life. There are enough burdens  each of us have to carry. Don’t take on the blame for partner’s affair.

4. Let Go and Move On.

Don’t pick at and rehash the affair again and again. Let go of the anger and hurt. Like a sore that’s picked at, your relationship will become infected with the lingering effects of the affair, if you cannot or will not let go of what happened to you.

5. Do things that you enjoy.

Dine out with a friend. Take in a movie. Go on a trip to some place where you have been longing to visit. Listen to some music that you enjoy. Read a book that inspires you.

6. Take the time you need to get over an affair.

Don’t rush yourself into doing anything before you have had time to reflect and heal. Give yourself the time you need to ponder your choices, before deciding what you want to do about the affair.

7. Prepare yourself to say “good-bye”

After a lengthy period of time has passed, and you still haven’t got over the fact that your wife or husband had an affair, it’s time to say good-bye. If you are looking at your partner’s emails, sifting through his or her text and phone messages, then the trust is gone. It’s time to accept that the relationship has not been restored, despite your efforts. You have no emotional security nor stability in your marriage any more.  It is rife with suspicion and distrust. In order to obtain a sense of well-being, you need to be able to have the kind of relationship where you can love and trust again.

Getting over an affair isn’t easy. You tried. Sometimes staying in a relationship no longer works for you.

How To Repair A Broken Relationship After An Affair

Posted Saturday, August 25th, 2012 | Tagged in : After An Affair By Admin

For most couples, the worst thing that can ever happen to them is to find out that their partner had an affair. The relationship becomes strained. The pain of it can leave you with a sickening feeling. And the trust disappears. Thoughts of what to do consumes your time.  And there doesn’t seem to be any easy answers of what to do. Or how to repair a broken relationship. The hurt and anger causes you to badger your partner day and night about what he did to you . As time passes, you realize something has to be done in order for your relationship to survive your partner’s affair.

The information provided here offers some clear cut things you can do, if you are trying to figure out, how to repair a broken relationship.

Seek professional advice.

When you discover that your partner has had an affair, don’t just ranted about it. Throwing a fix isn’t going to change anything. Even though dealing with an affair is difficult, make a decision to do something about it. When something is broken it needs to be fixed, repaired. There are couples that can speak from experience, that getting a professional, helped them to determine how to repair a broken relationship.

Tell your partner about what’s really bothering you.

When trying to work through an affair, it’s important to be open and honest. Let your partner know how their infidelity made you feel. Try to get  him or her to really listened to what you have to say about the affair and its affect on you.

Talk about the “why”

The problem with talking is that one of you can go off into a tangent. Try to avoid this. Stay on topic. Make sure you know why your partner cheated. It is important to have an understanding as to why the person that you love had an affair, to restore trust again. Insist on complete honesty from your partner. It will help you deal with insecurities about the relationship.  It may be painful to hear the reasons why. But when you learn what they are, the two of you can resolve those reasons, and strive to move forward in your relationship.

Sincerely Apologize

Take responsibility for your actions. When you do something that hurts the one you care about, be a stand up kind of person and apologize. Don’t make excuses, saying, “I just couldn’t help it.” Don’t argue “it’s wasn’t my fault.” Acting this way, makes it seems like you don’t want to take responsibility for your affair. Let your partner know that you made a horrible mistake. And that you are deeply sorry for it.

Re-establish what you expect from each other.

Knowing and establishing what you expect from each other, defines your relationship. If yours is not an open relationship, that should clearly say to you, “I want you to be only with me!” There’s no wiggle room, when this is understood and accepted as something you both agree to. So after there’s been an affair, it’s important to go back over and re-establish those things you expect from each in your relationship.

Get to know each other again.

Take some time to romance your partner like when you first met. Get away to a spa together where you can soothe your senses with a scented hot bubbling jacuzzi bath. Take a relaxing massage. Cuddle up and watch a movie together. Take a stroll along the beach. Go back and do those things that first excited you about your partner. The things that ignited your love and made you feel you had the only person in the world for you. In time you will discovered, how to repair a broken relationship.

Convincing Your Wife Or Husband To Save The Marriage

Posted Monday, July 2nd, 2012 | Tagged in : After An Affair, Relationship Advice, Save Your Marriage By Admin

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It is a fact, that if you are married, you will have problems to overcome. If the problems are serious,  and you have decided to work at keeping your relationship together, prepare yourself, it will not be easy in convincing your wife or husband to save the marriage when they want out.

To convince your wife or husband to save the marriage you must:

Accept responsibility: None of us are perfect! As the old adage says, “To err is to be human.” Acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the mistakes you made in your marriage can help resolve conflicts and hurt feelings. It shows your wife or husband that you realize that you contribute to the problems in your marriage.

Talk and Listen: Let your wife or husband know how you feel by talking things out. Use “I” statements. Don’t say, “You hurt me.” Instead say, I felt hurt.” Try to avoid saying “You” in an accusing tone or voice. Take the time to listen. Let your wife or husband tell you their concerns and how they feel. Be willing to listen to a different perspective about your marriage. Talking and listening to each other can create an atmosphere where it is easier for your efforts at convincing your wife or husband to save the marriage.

Seek Advice/Counseling: If you are a person of faith, you can seek the advice of your pastor. Ask that prayer be offered for the reconciliation between you and your wife or husband. If you prefer a secular approach to solving your marriage problems, you can seek out the advice of a professional marriage counselor. Approach the subject of marital counseling with sensitivity. Understand that your wife or husband may be unwilling to even consider counseling. They may feel pressured by you and think you are blaming the problems in your marriage on them. Don’t stoop to any form of manipulation by pleading with them. Don’t threaten to harm yourself, if they refuse to agree to attend marriage counseling with you.

Look After Yourself: Get the proper amount of rest to look and feel your best. Even though you are going through a difficult period in your life, don’t neglect to take good care of your health. Make sure you perform your everyday responsibilities. If it is necessary, get someone to help you with the issues you may be struggling to overcome.

Give it Time: Even though your wife or husband is not responding positively to your efforts, don’t lose hope. They just may need time to realize your commitment to the marriage and that it is worth saving. If the end result is that your wife or husband decides to continue the marriage, having had the patience to see things through, will make the waiting the best thing you ever done.

Helping A Marriage Survive Infidelity

Posted Monday, January 30th, 2012 | Tagged in : After An Affair, Save Your Marriage By Admin

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To most couples, there is nothing worse than infidelity when it comes to marriage. When you know that your spouse has been unfaithful, you feel like a part of you is gone. Infidelity severs the bond of trust that is the foundation of marriage. It can often prove to be fatal to the relationship.Many couples  find it difficult to save their marriage after discovering the infidelity. Making the decision to save the marriage depends on how you feel about what has happened and whether or not your wife or husband is still committed to the marriage.  It should be noted that the decision to try and work things out could be a very long process. This involves preparing to examine your marriage to resolve the problems between you.

The most difficult thing that needs to be done is to rebuild  trust.  This will not be easy. The doubts and the suspicion will take a long time to fade away. And the trust may never fully return between the two of you again.  The serious consequence of infidelity, is that trust may be lost forever. The only thing that can restore trust is seeing a change of a long period of time that shows your partner with actions you have been faithful.

You will need to follow through on promises, be honest with your words and actions, and show genuine remorseful feelings for the hurt you caused. There may be setbacks, when the incident of the infidelity will be revisited. Fights may ensue as memories come flooding back of the infidelity.  So if you both truly want to save the marriage the two of you will need lots of patience.

Make sure that you communicate clearly with your spouse all the time.  Understand that your spouse may want to know where you are going.  What you will be doing.  And he or she may want to know what time you are getting home.

It is natural for your spouse to feel insecure after there’s been unfaithfulness in your relationship.  They may need reassurance from you that everything is alright. And that you are still in love with them.  Make sure the two of you spend some quality time together doing things that you both enjoy.

Accept that infidelity did happen and resolve to may your marriage better.  If it is necessary, seek professional help of someone qualified to guide the two of you through this difficult period to survive after infidelity.