The internet has made it possible for couples to find a plethora of relationship help, including couples’ therapy and couples’ coaching. To add to the confusion, relationship help books and free relationship advice can be found splattered all over the internet and in bookstores all over the world. How can you, a couple in need of relationship help, know where to turn when every option you see claims to have the answer to your problems?
You may be wondering why choosing the right type of relationship help is so important. Shouldn’t all relationship advice work? The answer to that question is yes, and no. Yes, most relationship advice works – if it fits your current relationship situation. No, not all relationship advice works for every couple.
The severity of your relationship problem should be your guide. If you have a serious relationship issue, a simple self-help book may not suffice. If you just want to deepen your connection or work on one or two aspects of your marriage, you may not need the intensity of relationship therapy. There are many different reasons why one relationship help option may work for one couple but not the other…
So back to our original question – how do you and your significant other decide where to turn for relationship help? First, start with our relationship questionnaire.
1. Do you fight often? Is it always about the same thing or do the two of you argue about everything?
2. Are there issues like infidelity, addiction or abuse in your relationship?
3. Is your relationship in turmoil (i.e. divorce or separation) or do you simply want to work on a few things to strengthen your connection?
4. Are you both ready and willing to work on the relationship?
5. Are there any emotional or psychological issues surrounding your relationship problems?
6. What barriers stand in the way of doing the work to heal or strengthen your relationship?
7. How consistent are you and your significant other with following through with things – particularly things that relate to your relationship?
Now that you have answered all of the questions in the questionnaire, compare your answers to the advantages and disadvantages of different relationship help options.
Free Relationship Advice
Free relationship advice is rarely sufficient at helping couples fix relationship problems. Free relationship advice does serve a purpose, however – it can help couples recognize the need for help.
Free relationship advice can also be beneficial for newlywed or newly dating couples. Free relationship advice can help you learn how to safeguard your relationship for the future. Free advice can give you the tools you need to quickly recognize a potential relationship problem. If, however, a problem is already present, it is best to find help elsewhere.
Relationship Self-Help Books
Relationship self-help books are great for individuals that want to work on their relationship. Maybe they want to save a marriage or get an ex back. Maybe they want to learn how to spice up their relationship, strengthen communication and connection or simply find out how to get that spark back they had at the beginning of their relationship. There are hundreds of reasons that an individual will find a relationship self-help book beneficial.
Relationship self-help books are also great for couples that want to work together on their relationship, especially if the issues in the relationship are minor. Relationship self-help books can help couples strengthen an existing bond, learn how to communicate better, discover techniques that can improve physical and emotional connection. Couples can find that spark that they once had in the beginning of their relationship with self-help relationship books.
Relationship books can also be a very cost-effective means of repairing a marriage that may have a lot of arguing or tension from things like children, in-laws, money or loss of connection. Couples should be aware, however, that relationship self-help books only work if you implement them. Couples that are not good at following through should consider another option.
Both couples and individuals can find relationship coaching very beneficial. Individuals can work on improving their communication skills, self-esteem and personal growth. Couples can learn how to communicate better, diffuse arguments, learn techniques that can improve the way their relationship functions and find that connection that they so desperately miss.
Relationship coaching works well for couples that have frequent arguments about common relationship issues. Couples that have a fairly healthy marriage and mental state but struggle with follow-through are also likely to find coaching very beneficial. This is because coaching, unlike relationship self-help books, provide you with someone outside of your relationship to be accountable to.
Relationship coaching can be expensive but it is generally more affordable than couples’ therapy. It is less intensive than couples’ therapy but it is still more intensive than relationship self-help books. Relationships that are on the brink of separation or divorce may be able to find a solution with coaching. However, because coaching is less intensive, couples’ therapy may be a better option.
You should also be aware that relationship coaching is not intended for people who have serious emotional or psychological issues. Coaching is designed for emotionally healthy people that aren’t getting the full potential out of their life or their relationships. Relationship coaching is not a solution for abusive or addiction-ridden relationships.
Couples’ therapy is designed to handle deeply wounded or damaged relationships. Infidelity, abuse, addiction and emotional or psychological issues are best handled by a licensed therapist through couples’ therapy or individual therapy. While expensive, other relationship help solutions may not be effective for relationships in severe turmoil.
Please keep in mind that a relationship should never be unsafe. If you are in an unsafe relationship, you should contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE.
While there may be other issues that require consideration when choosing your relationship help option, this guide is rather comprehensive and should give you a successful method for choosing the right type of relationship help.