3 Reasons It Is Bad Theology to Promise Single Christians a Spouse
1. It Makes Your Faith Transactional
Grammatically, these promises are “if-then” statements. If you are faithful enough and chase after God enough, then He will give you this thing you want.
The converse of this statement is: If you don’t have this thing you want (a spouse) then you must not be faithful enough. You must not be a good enough Christian. This gives the idea that God rewards those who do enough faithful acts, and punishes those who do not.
This is bad theology. And the belief that those who are lacking good things makes them lesser isn’t new to our society. In John 9:1-3, we see this:
“As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”
The man was not blind because someone sinned and God was punishing him. Rather, the man was born blind because God knew that on this very day, Jesus would walk by and heal him. God had a plan for the blind man’s life before he was even born.
God loves the married and single Christian equally. He gives them what they need and sustains them through all walks of life. He is not withholding any good thing from anyone because they haven’t done enough.
There is only one transaction in all of Christianity: If you confess your sins and give your life over to Christ, then He will rescue you from the bondage of sin and give you eternal life. That’s it. If anyone tells you another if-then statement in Christianity, then it is bad theology.
2. This Is Not Something God Promises in Scripture – Anywhere
There is no verse in the Bible that says the faithful will be gifted with spouses or soul mates. If that were true, and God’s intention was for every Christian to have a faithful spouse, then every great hero of the Bible would have come with a partner.
If this statement is true, why did Jesus not have a wife? Why not Paul? Why not many of the prophets? Were they not “chasing after God” enough, like the viral Facebook post suggests?
Of course not! Aside from Jesus, these men and women were incredible heroes of the faith! They trusted in God for everything. And Jesus is God incarnate – there has never been anyone on earth who followed God more fervently than Jesus.
The Apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8 that each of us has our own gifts; some can use their gifts best as part of a married pair, some as a single person. Paul says that it is good for some to remain unmarried, as he is. It is good! Singleness is not a fault or a shortcoming. Singleness is not a sign of lesser faith. It provides many unique opportunities for ministry that are just not open to married couples. And the Church needs single Christians to embrace these unique opportunities to reach others for Christ.
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